


Numbers on the Scale

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Anorexia, Bulimia, Bulimic Eren Yeager, Bullying, Eating Disorders, Good Parent Grisha, M/M, Mild Language, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slow Build, anorexic eren yeager, he's still a good dad to eren, mild violence, though sometimes he can be bad because of his job
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-08 19:08:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11088057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Eren Jaeger never expected he’d spend his teenage years obsessing over his weight and being so sad. He’s always been happy with his life. Well, that was until his new high school.HIATUS





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write something like this forever. Might not be able to update all the time because I have 3 jobs now noooo. Yikes, don't judge me. It's late at night.  
> Also, I'm sorry this chapter is so short??? I have some of the next chapter written but it's not even close to being done hahaaa

Eren Jaeger never expected he’d spend his teenage years obsessing over his weight and being so sad. He’s always been happy with his life. Well, that was until his new high school.

As a child, Eren loved everyone and everyone loved Eren. His friends were plentiful, but he had to leave them. Eren’s mother had died a month before the Jaeger’s moved. Carla died of lung cancer when Eren was eleven years old. Although the news was devastating, almost emotionally crippling, the Jaeger family kept it together. They continued life, moved on. Grisha had a job offer a few cities over, and that’s where they are now. The house they are living in currently is a small one story house, both close to the hospital where Grisha works and decently close the school Eren now attends.

Making friends has always been an easy skill for Eren. He made friends with a small blonde, Armin Arlert, and a quiet Asian girl named Mikasa Ackerman. They and most others were kind to him the moment Eren arrived at the new school.

People he didn’t so easily make friends with is a particular group of boys from the football team. Jean Kirschtein and Connie Springer to be exact. Reiner Braun was quite nice to him though. Not that Jean and Connie are mean to Eren, it's more just that they piss Eren off and make fun of him. What they say about the way his long hair looks, his friend choice and the way his body looks never really bothered Eren when he’d first started attending this school. That was until Jean found out that Eren doesn’t have a  mother anymore. That’s where things started going badly for Eren.

He’d started getting into more fights that eventually turned physical. Eren started coming home with black eyes and split lips. As soon as Grisha came home and seen Eren's injuries he’d ask him what happened and if he was okay while cleaning Eren's wounds. Eren would never lie to his father, they’d been through so much and Grisha has always been there, so he told him what happened. He told him about Jean and what he said about his mother, how she is probably rotting in hell, though he did leave out the parts about Eren being an ugly fatass.

Grisha hugged Eren, told him that everything would be alright, that Carla is in a better place and she’s no longer suffering. “This was your mother's,” Grisha had told him while handing Eren a [gold necklace](http://www.polyvore.com/anne_klein_gold-tone_initial_pendant/thing?context_id=222327746&context_type=collection&id=192669015) with a _C_ charm. Cold metal touched Eren’s neck as Grisha put on the necklace, tucking the necklace under Eren's shirt. “Now it's yours. Take good care of it, Eren.” They were wrapped in a tight embrace yet again, tears silently slipping down their cheeks. “I love you Dad,” he whispered into the fabric of Grisha’s work shirt.

“I love you too, Eren,” Grisha said before his pager echoed loudly through their living room. He bumps foreheads with Eren, muttering an apology while hurrying to leave his home.

A mix of emotions flew through Eren so fast it made his head spin. Anger, confusion, and most of all, sadness. He stands up swiftly from the couch, deciding to skip dinner and head straight for his father's bedroom. A sigh falls from Eren's lips as he tucks himself under the covers, gripping Carla’s necklace as he quickly falls into a dreamless sleep. 

* * *

 

Eren wakes early in the morning to start his daily routine. It's nothing much, really. Shower, get [dressed](http://www.polyvore.com/m/set?.embedder=22846341&.svc=copypaste-and&id=222325929), coffee, and off to school. Before he leaves he does notice that his father isn’t back home, albeit it's not unusual for that to happen.

Once he arrives at his high school, he quietly makes his way to his locker before school starts. While shutting his locker and turning to go to his class, he accidentally walks straight into Jean, causes him to drop (what Eren assumed to be) his latte. The brunet quickly said sorry before turning away, though he wasn’t quick enough for Jean. The brute slapped Eren's books out of his hands and pushed his shoulders.

“What the hell, man? What's your problem?” Jean screamed and Connie parrots from behind. Eren furrows his brows in response, trying to pick up his stuff. “Fuck off, man. Just leave me the hell alone.” He spits, giving Jean a lot of disgusts as he eyes him up.

Cool metal of the school's locker cools Eren's back as Jean slowly walks towards him, reaching a hand out to him. “What’s this?” Jean asks with a shit eating grin across his face as he rips Eren's ( _Carla’s_ ) necklace off his neck. Teal orbs widen and fill with tears as Eren lunges at Jean, screaming “ _Give it back!”_

Jean holds the shining necklace above his head and inspects in. He turns to Eren and knees his gut hard, causing Eren to fall to his knees. “I’m not givin’ it back, shitface. And maybe if you weren’t such a fuckin’ fat fuck you would still be standing.” Jean says with a loud laugh. “What does this ‘c’ stand for, huh. Is it your dead mom's name?” He yells out.

Something inside Eren snaps. He screams nothing in particular as he charges Jean. His feet get swept out from underneath him by Connie. Eren smacks his head against the hard floor and his head spins.

Hard kicks are delivered to Eren's nearly defenseless body, he gasps out for air. He feels as if he is going to pass out as Jean punches his face in, but for an odd reason, he can only think of his mother and how sad she would be to see what Eren is going through.

Suddenly he is dropped onto the floor with a thunk. Eren watches through blurry, swollen eyes as a figure with black hair punches Jean's face. Once the figure seems satisfied, he leaves Jean as Connie runs away down the hall.

“Erwin, Hange, help me get him to the nurse's office.” The figure says to the two people next to him.

Eren attempts to sit up while the three people walk towards him. “I didn’ need your damn help,” he slurs, blood falling from his lips and slightly swaying as he stands up. Eren walks towards Jean to retrieve his necklace, only making it about halfway before stumbling and falling into the blonde man's arms.  His ears ring and he only hears muffled voices and the three people drag him to the nurse’s office, Jean forgotten on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be updating every Saturday, Friday, or every other week. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed.


	2. Chapter 2

Everything is white. Bright. Eren can’t see. There is nothing around him. He turns and runs, looking for something,  _ anything _ . His eyesight turns fuzzy so he rubs them, only to stop when he smells something familiar. Something like mom’s cooking. 

He opens his eyes to find himself in his old home, his mother healthy and happy humming as she stirs a pot of something delicious on the stove. Eren slowly walks towards his mother, hand shaking as it lays on her shoulder. “Mommy?” He asks weakly and Carla turns to face him, her signature sweet smile plastered on her face. 

“Yes, Eren?” Carla returns as she wraps an arm around Eren's shoulder, gasping slightly before giggling as Eren wraps his arms tightly around her middle. 

“Mommy, I missed you so much.” Eren sobs helplessly into her shoulder. 

Carla gives her son a confused look. “What are you talking about, little man? I saw you only a couple hours ago.” He pulled slightly away from the tight embrace to look at his mother. He feels relieved to see her again but incredibly guilty to know how he treated her so poorly when she was legitimately alive.

“I’m so sorry, mom. I love you so, so, so much.” Eren briefly looks down from Carla’s face only to look back up as she sags in his arms, her face rapidly thinning and paling. He feels tears slip out of his eyes and he shakes violently. Everything is starting to go black again and he calls out for his mom, again and again, closes his eyes until he feels someone shaking him. 

Eren sits up with a shout of his mother’s name, face wet with tears and frantically looking around the room only to find himself sitting in the Nurse’s office with the three people who had taken him there. 

They’re staring at him without saying anything. Eren pants heavily as he rubs the wetness off his cheeks, his heart going a mile a minute. A lady with brown hair, Hange Zoe, a senior, if he can remember correctly, puts her hand on Eren's shoulder. 

“The nurse told me to tell you your father is on his way here.” Says Hange. Eren nods silently while slowly breathing, wishing for them to just disappear. His wish comes true as Hange and the blonde stand up to leave, but the man with black hair stayed. They both stayed silent for a long while before the man finally speaks up.

“My name is Levi Ackerman. The tall guy is Erwin Smith, and the girl is Hange Zoe.” He says, standing and turning away from Eren. “Try not to get yourself into any more trouble.”

Eren grips the bed sheets tightly between his fingers. “Thank you. I'm sorry for getting you involved in my mess. My name is Eren. Eren Jaeger.”

Levi turns back to face Eren and opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by the school nurse. “Eren, your father is here to pick you up.” After that, Levi left and Eren stood from the bed, only halfway paying attention to the nurse telling him to take it easy and relax once he is home. 

The office door creaks loudly as Eren steps out, his father rushing to his side quickly. He is bombarded with questions while they get into Grisha’s car. Grisha stops in the middle of his interrogation with a long pause. “Where is your necklace?” He asks sadly, Eren squeezes his eyes closed tight. 

“Jean ripped it off my neck and I couldn’t get it back. I’m sorry.” Eren hangs his head between his shoulders, only sagging in on himself further when he hears the disappointed sigh that erupts from his father. Grisha doesn’t say a single word on the ride home. He leads Eren into the kitchen and gets a hand towel, bringing it to wipe off the blood remaining on Eren's face. A cold ice pack in pressed against the swollen side of Eren's face.

“Leave that on for ten minutes. Take a shower and change into some clean clothes. I have to go back to work.” And with that, he was gone again. 

The fifteen-year-old does what his father told him to do, deciding to just have half of a sandwich for dinner. He’s not all that hungry these days.

With nothing but a towel around Eren's waist, he makes his way back to his bedroom. He pauses in front of the hallway mirror. The teen moves his stare to his hair, the usually frizzy, long mess is slightly tamer now that it's freshly washed. Maybe he’ll ask his dad to cut it after school sometime. Eren drops his towel and stares at his body, Jean's foul words replaying in his head like a broken record. He pinches and pulls the excess skin and fat on his body, moving his hands over the rich bruises on his ribs and stomach.  

Eren squeezes his eyes shut tightly and he shakes his head. He shouldn’t think like that. He picks up the towel on the floor and moves quickly into his bedroom, hopping underneath his bedsheets. Darkness consumes Eren at a snail's pace, sending him into a restless sleep.

 

* * *

 

“Eren! Eren you’re going to be late for school if you don’t get up.” Grisha says while shaking Eren's shoulders. Eren groans and slaps at his father's arm. He sits up and rubs his eyes, trying to pay attention to Grisha speaking to him. “Mikasa called. She said she and Armin are coming to pick you up in fifteen minutes. Hurry and don’t make them wait. Stay away from that John kid and have a good day. And… I wasn't going to give this to you. It's your mother's ring, and for God's sake Eren, don't lose it.” He presses a kiss to Eren's forehead before leaving Eren's bedroom. Eren yells a thank you after his father. 

Eren got [dressed](http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=222704598) quickly in his normal style, throwing on an old pair of his dad’s glasses because why not. He ran outside to find Mikasa’s red Nissan Versa S Sedan parked in front of his house. Eren shouted out his goodbye’s and hopped into the back seat of her vehicle, warmly greeting his two best friends. Mikasa looked into the rearview window before snapping her head to look at Eren directly. 

“Who did that? Eren, are you alright?” Mikasa asks frantically. Armin then turns around to look at Eren as well, gasping softly at his visible injuries.

Eren buckles up, adjusting his glasses to hide more of his face. “I got in a fight again. It's fine, Mikasa.” The two eye him carefully before turning forward again, Mikasa starts the car and drives. 

“Have you had breakfast yet?” She asks softly, and Eren almost say  _ no _ but then he remembers the extra fat on his body. “Yeah, dad made me toast and stuff this morning,” he lies, smiling reassuringly at the pair in front of him. They both smiled back and nodded. That made Eren feel quite shitty. Lying to his best friends, even if it is something so small. 

The trio arrives at their high school quickly and says their farewells as they leave to go to their classes. Eren decides to stop at his locker because he realizes he forgot his pencils again. He grabs that damned pencil case and locks his locker, starting to head to his first class before someone calls his name. Eren cringes when he recognizes that voice. Jean Kirstein. “What the fuck do you want now, Jean?”

Jean shoves his hands in his pockets, staring coldly into Eren's eyes. His face was swollen and bruised just as bad as Eren’s.“I got my ass chewed, Jaeger. Almost expelled. And I don't have your dead mom's necklace anymore,  _ I destroyed it _ , so don't  _ fucking _ ask for it, pig.” He spits, shoving Eren against the locker then leaving.

Time seems froze while Eren is standing by his locker, books clutched tightly to his chest and a shaky hand in his hair. His breathing picks up and he runs the restroom. The crashing of his books on the ground echoes loudly through the bathroom as Eren throws his things in favor of leaning against the stall wall, pressing his hand over his mouth in an attempt to silence his cries and frantic breathing.  _ Jean _ that mother _ fucking  _ assfuck. Eren wanted to curse, wanted to scream his heart out. He felt as if his head would explode if he stayed so angry. Instead, he punched the brick wall of the bathroom over and over and  _ over. _ Again and again, until he could no longer feel the pain and the burning rage but only the blood smudged on his hand. 

The teenager is about to reel back and start punching again until he hears someone walk into the restroom. He stops, takes a deep breath and finally snaps out of his clouded haze. Bloodied hands try frantically to wipe the blood from the wall with a wadded piece of toilet paper. 

Eren waits to hear the person leave before he himself storms out of the stall to scrub his bloody hands raw in the sink, almost jumping out of his skin when someone taps his shoulder. It’s Levi. The senior looks as if he’s going to say something but instead he raises a brow and walks past Eren. Eren watches him in confusion as Levi picks up Eren's scattered books from the floor and silently hand them to the freshman.

“Hey, brat. Class started ten minutes ago. What were you doing, taking a shit or something?” Levi asks, Eren shakes his head quickly.

“Of course I wasn’t. That’s gross.” He replied swiftly. Levi just glares and asks what he was doing instead. “That’s none of your business,  _ sir _ ,” Eren says with a grin as they leave the bathroom together. Weird, who does that?

“‘Sir’?” Levi gives him a strange look, Eren shrugs. “You called me a brat.” The brunet utters. Suddenly, Levi stops Eren with a hand on his shoulder. “Do you want to go to lunch on Saturday? I’d love to get to know you better.” 

Eren stares at Levi for a while, cheeks slowly warming. Nobody has ever asked him out. But wait, is that what's even happening right now? Maybe it’s just as Levi said, he just wants to know Eren, wants to be friends. That’s it. Honestly, Eren doesn’t even know what he was thinking. Who would want to date him anyways? He’s just a useless hunk of fat that does nothing but cause tro-

“Eren?” Oh, right. Have to reply if you want to go to lunch tomorrow. 

“Oh! Um, yeah, yes, I’d love to go to lunch with you. Lunch with Levi.” Smooth one, Jeager. “Uh, do you have a cell phone?” They exchange numbers, Eren watches with a shy smile as Levi saves his name as ‘Brat’, so he saves Levi’s as ‘Captain’. “I’ll call you sometime. Or I mean I can just text you if you want.” 

Levi pushes a strand of hair behind Eren's ear. “I’ll call you tonight. Oh, and do you know that restaurant on Shiganshina street?” Eren nods quickly. “Good. It’s a date then.” Then he walks off, but not before giving a smirk and a wink to Eren.

Cheeks aflame, he covers his face and tries to believe it’s not all a dream. Had that _really_ just happened, or is he just dreaming? Did he even get out of bed this morning? Eren pinches the skin of his arm and opens his eyes to find himself standing in the same spot where Levi asked him out.   

Wow. What was he going to wear?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took so long to get out. My only days off are the weekends but that's not enough time for me to write. I work from 5 am to 9 pm hahaaa someone kill me
> 
> ALSO! I fixed a few different mistakes.

In all honesty, Eren had never even heard of the restaurant Levi was taking him to. Much to Eren’s embarrassment, he called Levi and asked for the name and address of the place. Levi said the name is _The Underground_ (which doesn’t really make sense to Eren because Levi did confirm that the restaurant isn’t actually underground). Levi told it was alright and he had nothing to be embarrased about, and told him he doesn’t have to dress fancy (Eren also needed to ask). He’d explained on the cell phone that the restaurant is actually owned by Levi’s mother, Kuchel Ackerman, and his uncle, Kenny Ackerman.

Once Eren arrived at The Underground, Levi was already there standing coolly by the entrance. Eren’s jaw dropped once he saw what he was [wearing](https://www.polyvore.com/think_you_look_beautiful/set?id=222823217). A black button down with a blazer over top, slacks, and a tie. A tie. Why didn’t Eren think of that? But in his defense, Levi did say not to dress fancy. Eren glances at his own [outfit](https://www.polyvore.com/wow_feel_very_under_dressed/set?id=222819213) for a moment. He’s wearing a loose dark flannel, black jeans, converse, his mother’s ring, and a little bit of make-up.

“Um, wow, I feel very underdressed,” Eren says to Levi as he gets closer. Levi’s usual bored, annoyed expression turns into one that is surprised. He looks Eren up and down with a ghost of a smile across his lips.

“I think you look beautiful.” He returns. “I like your makeup too, by the way. I meant to tell you the other day when I saw you wearing it. It's very beautiful.”

Eren touches his hand to his cheek. “You think so? My mom used to wear it like this, the lipstick was actually her’s.” He says bashfully as they walk into the restaurant.

“Oh, does she not wear it anymore?” Levi asks, stopping their conversation momentarily to tell the waitress table for two. What’s the point if they are the only two people waiting?

“No, she uh…” Eren paused. “She just let me borrow it for today.” He wanted to slap himself. Why wouldn’t he just tell the truth?

“I see. What about the ring? That is your mother's too?” They sit at a booth, sitting on opposite sides because it pisses Levi off when two people sit on the same side. Just spent ten minutes slightly apart, dammit.

“Yeah, I used to have her necklace too, but Jean took it.” Eren picked up a menu and opens it to cover his face, not wanting to continue the topic. Levi gets the hint but doesn’t pick up his own menu.

A woman with blaze red hair approaches swiftly, suddenly wrapping her arms around Levi as she practically dove at him. Levi grunts upon impact and Eren watches in confusion as the women smacks the back of Levi’s head.

“Big bro! You never ever come here with anyone!” She yells, stopping as she looks over to Eren. The lady stands up straight and looks from Eren then back to Levi with a smile on her face. “Who is he? Is he your boyfriend? How long-”

“Isabel!” The raven haired man snaps, his face ever so slightly tinted pink. “Stop talking _please_ or just take our orders.”

The red-haired woman named Isabel does what Levi told her to do, although with a grin across her lips. Levi tells her what he wants without even glancing at the menu. Eren tells her he would like a salad and a water. Low calories. If he doesn’t want to be such a whale, he has to eat almost nothing, right? Isabel nods and walks off. Eren still thinks. He puts a hand on his stomach, cringing intensely when he feels the rolls. He sits up and smiles towards Levi when he notices him looking. 

“That’s all you’re getting?” Levi asks as he sips the tea that Isabel had brought him. “I’ve had every item on this menu. It’s all tasty, trust me.”

A look of shock appears on Eren’s face as Levi tells him that. “Everything?” Levi nods, a small grin on his face. “Wow. That’s pretty impressive. And um, yeah this is all I’m getting. I was stupid and… ate a big breakfast. Before going out to lunch with you. Yeah.” Eren rubs his neck sheepishly after he says that.

Levi nods slightly. “It’s alright. The salads here are the best around, don’t get me wrong. I mean, Tartiflette is my favorite. Maybe on our next date, you’ll try it, yeah?” Eren turns his head to hide his smile slightly. Our next date.  

Finally, Isabel comes with their food, Eren’s salad, and Levi’s cassoulet. They eat quietly, chit chatting every once in awhile but mostly keeping quiet. The two of them did stay until about four thirty. Eren ends up eating only half of his salad, which is still way too much for him. Levi pays for their lunch, though Eren insisted on paying for what he ate.

They walked to Eren’s house together, hand in hand. Before Eren turns to walk inside his house, Levi stops him and places a hand on Eren's cheek.

“Thank you for going out to lunch with me. I’ll talk to you later, yes?” Levi leans in and presses a soft kiss against Eren’s slightly chapped lips. They stay like this for a short while. Nothing but a closed mouth kiss.

The two of them pull apart. “I’ll talk to you later,” Eren says through a large smile. Levi hugs him before he leaves, but Eren feels how he stiffens when he touches Eren. He sees a hint of worry on Levi’s face when he pulls away and that’s when Eren knows he fucked up. He should have never let Levi touch him. Levi says his goodbyes and so does Eren. Levi leaves, and Eren runs into the house, immediately shutting himself in his room.

Eren sits on his bed and draws his knees up to his chest. He’s such a fuck up. Levi is not going to want him anymore after he felt how lumpy and fat Eren's body is. The young boy stumbles into the bathroom after he makes up his mind about what he’s going to do. He kneels beside the toilet and grips the edge tightly.

 

He takes a deep before opening his mouth and plunging his fingers down his throat.


End file.
